@ Liverpool, UK - 28 July 2010

Hey folks,

The usual me again, only updating me blog after 2 months being in UK.. Hah! Anyways, weather's rather lovely in the UK, its colder than Genting at all times, but its still bearable.. XD

Its actually the 2nd time I've board on a plane leaving home for a considerable period of duration, although this time its longer than the first. I wasn't sure I was going to make it even being the child who rarely stays at home in the family. But, heck! I've been surviving 2 months of UK and Iqbal-ism!! 1 more month and I'll be on board my Europe Trip, backpacking ALONE!! OMG!!! Yes, the thrill!!! XD

Have been planning my London and Salisbury route last night, gonna spend about 4 - 5 days at London. I'll then be moving onto Paris for 1 night, then Spain, Austria, Italy and my last stop will be Greece where I'll board my plane back home. It should be fun! Hah!

This has definitely been an enlightening journey for me, have learnt many about myself, others, and life in general. Well, can't wait to pack up and come back home, as much as I hate to admit it, I miss my local food. To my friends back home --- I will be back~

Singapore

Hey folks! I'm back in Malaysia after a 4-days trip to Singapore!
Even though there's nothing much to do at Singapore, it was fun meeting up with friends and just spending time with them walking around.

A special thanks to my 'kai sai lou' Jason, Alan & Tebby for accomodating and bringing us around the country for the past 4 days! Arigatou gozaimasu!
And also a very happy birthday to Jason, for turning 22~~~ :D

I really had fun in this trip! The city's very clean, has a great public transport system, and not forgetting the hot people walking around! XD
I've also discovered 1 fact regarding Singapore during the trip.. Toast Box in Singapore is the same as Old Town in Malaysia! XD

Also, my friend told me that a position is being opened up at his working place. Boy, am I tempted to give that a try... The question now is should I go over and work at Singapore or should I stay with my current one at KL?

What do you guys think? :)

PS: Pictures will be uploaded when I have the time~

David Tao - 暗恋

___________________________________________________________

Still lonely, still lonely…

昨晚又再見到你
你還是那麼美麗
我緊張到話都不會說
就傻傻看著你

渴望永遠這距離
就是和你在一起
醒來發現這一切都只
是我的夢境

告訴自己要冷靜
卻又無法不想你
我的懦弱已經開始讓
我討厭我自己

是你對我有戒心
還是我沒有自信
可是誰也不能阻止我
我要暗戀你
So lonely

So here I am standing all alone
在某個街頭
有個我在這裡只為你等候
Here I am waiting just for you
開放我所有
希望你能瞭解你能夠接受
So lonely

今晚渴望再見你
雖然只是在夢里
短暫的甜蜜也勝過了
一輩子沒有你

就算沒快樂結局
就算從此死了心
我要付出我所有誠意
只要能感動你

我願意(我願意)

So here I am standing all alone
在某個街頭
有個我在這裡只為你等候
Here I am waiting just for you
開放我所有
我要為你怎麼做

你才接受我 (才接受我)
我喜歡 (我喜歡你)
我要你 (我要你)
我愛你

So here I am standing all alone (standing all alone)
在某個街頭
有個我在這裡只為你等候
So here I am waiting just for you
開放我所有
希望你能瞭解你能夠接受

I'm lonely

故事就說到這裡
就算你們再好奇
我想說的都已說完了
其餘是秘密

在那某一個街頭
會流傳某個旋律
那是我在輕輕唱著歌 我多愛你
_______________________________________

Recently, Chinese singer/songwriter, David Tao 陶喆 released his 6th album 'Opus69/69樂章'.

I find one of his tracks《暗恋》to be extremely captivating. 暗恋can be translated to 'being secretly in love with someone'. Aside from the distinctive melody (I keep having this feeling that I've heard this melody before in an English song), the lyrics were really well written too.

The song perfectly describe a feeling of secretly loving someone, from feeling shy and stonned in fron of that person, couldn't stop thinking and dreaming about him/her, to feeling that you'll not be accepted or if that person will not love you in return. The feeling of always looking at the person you admire from behind, the frustration of wanting to confess and the fear of rejection. Stupidly deciding that you will wait for the person to turn around and take a look at you and tell you that he/she likes you too.

Well, if you're lucky, it might just happen. But the chances are not high. Of course, confessing right away like an idiot does not help either. XD
The fact is many of us were, are, or will be caught in situations like this. As Shakespeare said, "To be, or not to be: that is the question"
Unfortunately we will not have the answers until we've decided on our decisions, for better or for worse.

It has been raining all morning and I wonder if the feeling of depress is caused by the song or by the rain, or both? Actually I didn't have an idea as to what to share with this post other than this song. All I can say is so many has happened over the past 2 months and sometimes its fun to look back at your past. Well, I've wasted enough time being side-tracked. Enjoy the song~

Hiatus

Another month passed by as quietly as the last one. I've been pretty tied down with things at work at the moment. Its actually getting a little stressful for me with the ever-rising responsibilities and politics happening at my workplace.

I'm about to embark on the journey to complete my effing thesis once again. Lol. Fingers crossed that I'll find the energy to complete it this time. Lol!

And Phoebe, don't ffk me ya! >.<

H1N1 flu has also gotten worse, and I don't really see that this epidemic is coming to an end anytime near, so take care everyone! >.<

Oh ya, Big Apple opened at Klang Parade today! It will take a lot to restraint myself from indulging in those yummy doughnuts... Ugh... The last thing I need now is MORE temptations!!!!!!! :P

Anyways, I am trying really hard to keep this blog alive. Hah. I'm not a very expressive person, please forgive me..

My goal is to have one post up at least once a week, and I would appreciate your support! Suggestions are most appreciated! :)

Sand in the hourglass usually signifies time.

It is scary sometimes how fast time flies.

*PS: I do not own this picture. Credit to the owner. :)

Haze

Its that time again. The attack of the haze is back! :)

It gets really REALLY hazy if you travel on KESAS highway in between Klang and Kota Kemuning. Seriously, you can even smell the haze sitting inside the car. However, I noticed that the haze condition has not been extremely bad compared to years ago. I remembered in 1997/1998, the haze hit Malaysia and you can hardly see the sun during day time!

During that year, many schools were shut down momentarily until the situation got better, but I don't think that such case has happened yet this year or during recent years. Maybe the Indonesian government has done something to ease the situation. But it was really fun when classes got canceled back then. :)

Recently, life has gotten hectic! There are so much to do out of a sudden.. I am starting to miss the days when I could just do whatever I like whenever I want. Haha! Work has definitely taken up a lot of my time. I miss the time when I could just sit in front of the computer and watch movie after movie on PPstream. xD

Sometimes work gets so overwhelming that there is no time to stop and breathe! Just like being in the middle of the haze. Hah! The suffocation. Ugh.

But I'm still pretty much happy with my job, just that I would prefer a little more time to rest. LOL! Fussy fussy... :X

Time to hit the sacks. Goodnite all~

徐佳莹 - 失落沙洲

又来到这个港口
没有原因的拘留
我的心乘着斑剥的轻舟
寻找失落的沙洲

随时间的海浪漂流
我用力张开双手
拥抱那么多起起落落
想念的 还是你望着我的眼波

我不是一定要你回来
只是当又一个人看海
回头才发现你不在
留下我迂回的徘徊
我不是一定要你回来
只是当又把回忆翻开
除了你之外的空白
还有谁能来教我爱

又回到这个尽头
我也想再往前走
只是越看见海阔天空
越遗憾 没有你分享我的感动

我不是一定要你回来
只是当又一个人看海
回头才发现你不在
留下我迂回的徘徊
我不是一定要你回来
只是当又把回忆翻开
除了你之外的空白
还有谁能来教我爱

我不是一定要你回来
只是当又一个人看海
疲惫的身影不是我
不是你想看见的我
我不是一定要你回来
只是当独自走入人海
除了你之外的依赖
还有谁能教我勇敢

____________________________________________________


Firstly, I would like to dedicate this entry to my 'sai lou' Jason. He's the one who introduced me to 超级星光大道 and 徐佳莹, wouldn't have known this song without him. Also, I apologize to those who do not understand Mandarin. I have chosen this Mandarin song for my entry today because I find it to be a pretty decent piece of music (that is anything remotely close to being current). Well, if you do not understand the lyrics, try listening to the melody and the artiste's singing technique. I especially like her softness in this song.


Let me give you a brief introduction to the artiste for those of you who do not already know her. 徐佳莹 is a Taiwanese singer, made famous after participating (and winning) Season 3 of a Taiwanese Singing Reality TV Show, 超级星光大道. She's a real talented contestant having performed a couple of self-composed songs. Coincidentally, she performed this song during the Finale of the show and went all the way to being crowned Champion.


The title of the song, 失落沙洲，沙洲 = Shoal, Sandbar, Sandbank.
This song (like many other songs) is very much the pain from the loss of someone close. The MV focuses on the sadness of the female 2 years after the death of her partner. However, there is a difference between this song and most of other songs.

Many other songs are either crying about the pain, or asking others to stay strong. However in 失落沙洲, it says that eventhough people have came into terms with the death of that someone, there will still be times when our memory unlocks itself. To me, it is okay to dwell in the sadness once in a while. Afterall it is the loss of someone close.

Even if it is not someone close to you, the death of someone you know bothers most people. Like the recent death of the King of Pop, Micheal Jackson, not many of us knows him personally, but we're still sad over his departure. It gets worse when it is someone closer. I had my share of feeling that loss when my grandma passed away 3 years ago whom I was the closest with ever since I was born. Even after 3 years, I still shed tears when memories of her starts flushing back (like now) out of a sudden. And yes, I'm playing 失落沙洲 on my computer as I'm typing this entry. Hah!

I'm late for work, so I shall just leave it as it is. Enjoy the song! :)

PS: I do not own the rights to materials of 徐佳莹. Credit to whomever owns it. Thanks! :)

Sidelined

According to http://www.thefreedictionary.com/ , sidelined = To remove or keep from active participation.

How many of us have been sidelined in our life? I believe the better question would be how many times have we been sidelined in our life?

Remember how it felt to be folding your arms and standing at the side of the field while your more physical friends got picked for the game?

Or when you were sitting alone at a corner with your own Barbie while other girls were combing the hair of each others' Barbies and went giggling away?

Throughout our life, we're bound to be in situations where we get left out or shoved to the side. Sometimes we might act like it doesn't matter when in reality we're screaming inside our heart asking ourselves WHY ME!!?!

Being sidelined where relationship and emotion's concerned sucks just as much if not even more than the usual stuffs. I've grouped them into 5 levels of Heartbreaking-ness.

___________________________________________________

1st Level - Weak Heartbreak

- Usually applies to normal fans of a famous person. Its always you (the fan) who notice the famous person and he/she might (or never will) notice that you even exist!

2nd Level - Mild Heartbreak

- A special category for those fanatic fans out there who pours a lot of energy over their obsession over certain famous person. People in this stage would probably be committee members of certain famour person's fan club or online forum. The truth is........ those famous people might not even remember your name at the end of the day. :)

3rd Level - Serious Heartbreak

- Now, onto a more serious level. :P For you singles out there, yeah you, think of that someone you are interested in. Get a good mental image of that person. Now close your eyes. ............... Then open them! (DUH! How're you gonna read what's next with your eyes closed!! Have you tried confessing to that person? If you have not, afraid to face the rejection that follows right after? I bet being rejected and sidelined by someone you're interested in is a serious heartbreak for most people. Makes you think what's wrong with you. Why sidelined? Well, it's gonna be awkward for you and that person after this, thus he/she will most probably try his/her best to sideline you from his/her life. Rejection's not as half bad unless you get to know that the person is gonna block you out after.

4th Level - Super Heartbreak

- What's worse than being rejected by someone you like? I know! Being rejected (dumped) by someone you like whom you've been together with in a relationship! Not everyone is capable of being friends after a relationship ends. Even if you succeed in maintaining a friendship, it'll not be the same. After spending time together with someone and getting to be so close to the other person, its hard to face the sudden distance between the both of you. Its like telling you that the woman who has always been taking care of you since you were young is not your birth mother. You were so closed, and suddenly, BAM! Empty! Scary how fast things change! What you're familiar with turns into history and the person whom you usually share things with, and lean against turns into a stranger.

5th Level - "I'd Rather Be In Hell" Heartbreak!

- I personally find this situation to be rather suited as a level 5 heartbreak than that of level 4. Have someone you're interested in? But that person's unavailable or attached. But the problem is you still meet that person and his/her partner or even hear news and stuffs about them. Hahaha. Its bad enough to have the person rejecting you, but it stings even more when you get to know that he/she is with another person. How you wish its you in the place of the partner. xD I've thought of a "I rather be in hell" moment for this situation too. Imagine yourself having dinner with your love interest... with his/her partner..... You guys were chatting... TeeHee... No biggie.. Then the food comes. You're feeding yourself while opposite of you, they were feeding each other.. NO BIGGIE~ Dessert time! Ice-cream! Your favourite! They were feeding each other again.. Nothing you haven't already seen. Then they have to put their lips together in front of you. Now, you would rather be in hell! HAH!

_________________________________________________

Keep finding yourself asking "When is it gonna happen to me"?

Unfortunately to some, they might ask that question for a very long time.

This post might not bring much meaning, I am in this rare mood to write. And I wrote. xD

Well, good luck to you guys if you're still waiting for that someone to share your life with! :)

PS: I do not own this picture. Credit to whoever that owns it. Thanks! :)