So near, YET so far..

I'm sure each and everyone of us have felt or faced with a situation where we want something really badly, but things don't always go our way. It happens. It sucks when you are on the receiving end though.

Over the months, things like this happen more and more often to me. I consider myself pretty lucky in the past for getting most of the things my way without much fuss or effort, and somehow or rather, became too reliant on luck, taking many things for granted. And when things don't go my way, I'll keep finding a way to make it go MY way.. Lol! It's my way or the highway.. :P

But then again, why am I so obsessed over it? Why am I obsessed of having the control over things just so that it turns out in my favour? So what? My bro told me to go with the flow for a while now, I'm trying to. One thing, it'll be better and I don't go complicate things with my mind. Guess when things don't turn out my way, I'll be thinking "Why can't it be like this?" "Why isn't anyone seeing it my way?" instead of thinking "What do others see that I don't?" and get a wholesome understanding of the situation instead of holding onto my principles and ego. I have to let go of my "钻牛角尖" nature. LOL!

There are so many things in life that I still couldn't accept, still resenting, still blaming. I found out 2 days ago that I'm still resenting the death of my grandmother which happened 2 and a half years ago. But my bro helped me look at it at a different way. I would normally cry like hell just thinking of my grandmother, but today, I'm surprised at how calm I am thinking back and writting about it. I have to let go a lot of the things of the past, otherwise it will only carry onto my present and future and only make myself miserable. It's gonna take some time thinking back at each and every fears, regrets, wrongdoings and resentment of my past and try to come to an understanding.

But to be honest, it seems easier dealing with things of the past than the ones that happened recently. And to my pet sister, I know you're going through some situations as well, hopefully this post could be a help to you. Its hard to deal with situations within your comfort zone, but its even harder at a place you're not even familiar with yet. You know you have me to talk to when you need a pair of ears to listen.

And bro, thank you so much for the past weeks. I feel so bad for bugging you that often, lol! I know you're probably tired of hearing me obsessing over certain stuffs.. Thank you for your patience and your wisdom, it means the world to me.

And to all of my friends, yes you, the time will come where you might face situations that may not go your way, but do not fear the challenge of life, take it up and just remember to live everyday without any sense of remorse, just be happy! :)

Of course I pray that you have as smooth of a passage as possible, but just take it easy and enjoy the wonders of life, alright?

Cheers~